Live for the Lost
by Ichihara19
Summary: People think that it was that easy to get my trust; but my eyes can see the light they want to give. I will not allow myself to let them do this to me... because I am the storm who will destroy anything or anyone- The real Kusama Nowaki
1. Chapter 1

**Live for the Lost**

**Note: **I know it's been a while but sorry if you haven't seen me for a long time. It's because I got into my grades so much. Now everyone keeps on relying on me. It annoys me to such an extent that I want to kill myself (not that it will ever happen) so this is just to practice my writing style to see if I still got it. If you want me to continue just tell me okay? And guess who's POV this is

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Sometimes you'd think that the things you wanted to have weren't really worth that much value at all; but when you look into it, the flaws it gained over the years gave it reason to even live it's life till now. Why did he pick me? How much was I really worth? I found these questions engraved in my memory in a way that, gave me the answer I wished I never knew. Maybe there were reasons why destiny rolled its dice... but the only problem is: Which one of us is being played?

Love was trivial for me over the years; it gave me no purpose in life and gave me the will to leave things in a total stand-still. The eyes of oblivion never fail to elude me with its mysterious company. Somehow you'd wished that you never had humanity in the first place... because in the end, you end up losing it anyway.

**How I wished I never met you**

And I'm sick that someone can be that important that, I'd give anything to have him back into my arms. Tell me you love me, Hug me with those hands of his, light up a fire inside my heart... no one really knows how much it hurts to be that desperate because of one person. But somehow, you end up appreciating the pain it gave you... because it gave me the euphoria that gave me the passion to do things this way. Even though humans weren't really perfect, each and every one of them had value... even me for that matter.

Its okay to shed some tears... but I don't know how much more I can take. The fragile affections that we share was enough for satisfaction, so why even bother making it worse? We take things to far but that's one of our purposes in my opinion. To realize the things we have after it's taken away. Somehow I wished to experience what that feeling was like... even if I have to give the little things I have left; the sensation of feeling such emotions fails to let people see what's really happening. But those are the little sacrifices that made you love them, care for them, and cherish the short-lived bond you wanted to have.

Recovering from that experience was just as simple as one kiss. That's how much a person could be of value to you... and at least you know that you never alone; that they would always be willing to chase you or at least wait for you to get there. It's kind of like a give and take situation don't you think?

**But things aren't always what it seems...**

Putting on a smiling face just so you could impress or at least give happiness to the people who can be of use to you in the future was a battle tactic for me in life. This is who I really am... the person who was used and ends up using you in the end. The game has taken its sudden turn... now the pawn will be the king and the king, will be your beloved servant. So relish the light of what glory gives you, because I will make sure that you will be blinded by the darkness that once gave me the will to fight; the throne the king that was supposed to be me.

"That's all for now okay?" The man said as he left the building.

"Yes..." You see, I had to make my own choices in such a young age; my parents abandoned me after a storm so that's how I got my name. _Nowaki_

Maybe fate was cruel to me... to be stepped on by others, to be used by the lucky ones who didn't end up like me; but luckily, I made that towards my own advantage. They will all pay. It doesn't matter on how much my hands get dirty... but how it does always makes something out of it. For now I'll settle with this, because it was the only place it had room for me; my place if you call it.

'_I guess I can go home now...'_

I went to my apartment and noticed that there was a letter:

_You're given the night shift now due to some circumstances we are sorry but it is the only position available._

Things were always like this; I was always wasting the little life I had left. Sad really...

"Oh well, I guess I could just get used to a new schedule." After all it was the only thing I could do to reassure myself. Right now I just wanted to get some sleep. Once I reached my room, I opened the door and went straight to bed. I didn't rally care if I showered or not anymore... I was too tired to do it anyway.

**I just don't know what to do anymore**

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**Thank you for reading**


	2. Chapter 2

**Live for the Lost**

I feel so disoriented now... even in the sweet escape of my dreams, I could never really find the satisfaction of the hopeful delusions they give me. Even if life never really gave me a bed of roses, I've come to love the sweet combination of the fragile bond I have with myself.

_It sickens me so... to find myself forcing myself into gaining the things I don't even need_

But what can I do? Humanity was one of the things that made me want to break the delicate bond of life I want to keep. It keeps me alive in a way I never wanted it to.

Sad really, in every word I say no matter how much sense it makes...seems to mystify the true message I was trying to portray.

_But in the end, what was the point of speaking out to others when the only thing you get was a look of confusion._

Things like this won't even matter anymore...especially if you endure the burden of living a day in death.

As I wake up, the sun shines so brightly that somehow I found that today was going to be different. Yesterday, I told him that maybe we could go to the park today. I know it's kind of random but I didn't want to sulk on my bed in my day off. So I decided that we'd have a gathering.

"I'd better head there now." So I got out of bed, bathed, brushed my teeth and did every thing I needed to do before I went out.

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**A few hours after going to the park**

And after spending time with them for just a few hours I realized that maybe moping around my bed was the best idea I've ever had. I decided that we had our rocket to play with... which was a really childish but was made out of desperation.

'_God kill me now...'_

"Oi, you pumped the rocket to hard...can you get it?" he asked me.

"Sure..."

I went to the place where it went and saw... a crying angel. He had cinnamon brown hair and eyes that seemed to occupy the void of the trees and manipulated it to his own advantage.

_What...is this?_

All of the sadness I've gathered over the years were gone... and replaced with...something else. Like a child in his mother's arms I felt the warmth I wanted to feel. I was complete. And I promise that I will protect him with all of my heart.

**Because, it was despair that gave me the will to love again**

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**Note: **I've noticed that I forgot the disclaimer so... I don't own anything just the plot. anyways, you've noticed that it was short and I intented to keep it like that because this fic was made out of boredom and I needed to plactice. And my grammar isn't exactly good so if anyone wants to help me just PM me. I will be taking a break again because of studies but I will do some oneshots if that's okay with you. I have some stories for you but I won't be posting them for now. Thank you and sorry for this...


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